Our old friend Tony loves his Yuletide Log Parties (which I’m certain he made up). Last year I literally have him “The Hucklebuck.”

This year I simply made him a poster that celebrated all the wonderful things that occur at Yuletide Log parties…such as:

• “picklebacks”
• Mario Kart
• heady beer
• Rock Band
• an actual rock band
• watching the DVD– The Monday Night War: WWE Raw vs. WCW Nitro
• making fun of Steve for drinking gluten-free beer (he has a serious medical condition you guys)
• smoking trees

All writers and art directors require a standard set of skills in order to move forward in the world of advertising and marketing. However, at one particular agency they believe it takes a little something extra to get ahead.

In fact, it takes 7 specific skills.

Directed by Garbage Party & JR33D
Written and Edited by Garbage Party
Photography by JR33D

All music: “Rainbow” by Battles. If you like it, purchase here.

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Implement your own Grayscale System by printing and hanging up the official poster!

High-Resolution/Vector version

Preview: 

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Text from the poster:

We recognize that all creatives require a standard set of skills in order to move forward, professionally. However, here we believe that it takes something extra to get ahead, personally. In an effort to better explore the potential within all of us, our Writers and Art Directors follow the path of The Grayscale System. Because it is non-traditional and controversial in its approach, we acknowledge the need to keep the system among ourselves for fear that the process may be compromised by outside departments. While our employees don the shirt of his or her current position, they must simultaneously respect all levels of The Grayscale System.

(key)
SKILL
AKA: The ‘street’ term
Shirt Color: The identifier
Equivalent: The traditional job title
Achievement Example: The defining act that earned the creative their position

RESOURCEFULNESS (1)
AKA: Rat-Like-Survival
Shirt Color: White 
Equivalent: Intern
Achievement Example: Survived for an entire work day on free office food

SARCASM (2)
AKA: The-Dry-Wit
Shirt Color: Ash
Equivalent: Jr. Writer / Jr. Art Director
Achievement Example: Managed to insult the client four different times in one meeting, client never knew

STUBBORNNESS (3)
AKA: Go-to-the-Mat-itis
Shirt Color: Overcast
Equivalent: Writer / Art Director
Achievement Example: Ruined nearly 5 professional relationships all for the sake of a single pun-driven headline

CUNNING (4)
AKA: Jedi-Mind-Trickery 
Shirt Color: Battleship
Equivalent: Sr. Writer / Sr. Art Director
Achievement Example: Presented “updated” work without actually changing the copy or layout

INTUITION (5)
AKA: Probably-Actually-High-At-Work
Shirt Color: Slate
Equivalent: Associate Creative Director
Achievement Example: Somehow foresaw the client’s distaste for French-sounding words, saved the project from sure disaster

STEALTH (6)
AKA: Must-Be-Sleeping-With-Someone-In-Accounting 
Shirt Color: Charcoal
Equivalent: Creative Director
Achievement Example: Went on 9 all out, company-paid boondoggles in one year under the guise of “creative presence”, on one trip expensed a set of lawn darts

PERSUASION (7)
AKA: Creative-Pitch-Magician
Shirt Color: Black
Equivalent: Group Creative Director
Achievement Example: Sold the client a campaign based solely on a ‘balls’ joke

In the world of marketing, I understand that brands want to make an “emotional connection” with their audience.

Sometimes the connection comes in the form of familiar or comforting words. Other times it’s in the form of a persona that we all aspire to be. But the print ad I found recently has taken it to a whole other level.

Is an elaborate backstory for each character necessary for me to care about the product?

Click images to embiggen.

Printable/High resolution version

It’s not that I don’t want to answer the question ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ —it’s just that the question is too broad. Plus, he died a long time ago.

What would he do…when? with who? under what circumstances? A Jesus-type-guy could find himself in a pretty endless number of situations. Here are some realistic scenarios with his possible reactions.

Printable/High resolution version

…in 5 simple steps:

Since 2005, I’ve been photographing* church signs that I stumble upon during my numerous road trips across the midwest. There is a certain amount of quaint comfort and subtle beauty within these signs.

But, below are the ones that didn’t make any damn sense.

*photoshopping images I found on the internet

Click images to embiggen.

Our office’s new batch of interns were given the following [non-H.R.-approved] quiz. Conceived of by Jeff R. Written by me.

The purpose was to alleviate our boredom, spark creativity and force interns to say mean things about their coworkers.