An old Jerky Boys track consists of “Frank Rizzo” calling up a patient old man and inventing a fake mutual friend from their past. This friend supposedly tried to give Frank “The Hucklebuck.” After a minute one realizes that “The Hucklebuck” is Frank’s euphemism for “blowjob.”

My friend Tony enjoys quoting this particular phone call so much that this past Christmas I decided to give Tony “The Hucklebuck.” Literally. 

I designed and printed the label below. Then I taped it carefully to a small box about the size of  a CD and the depth of book. Additional quotes from the same phone call are also referenced on the box.

Hucklebuck talk begins at 1:57. It delights me to this day how many times he gets the nice old man to say “The Hucklebuck.”

This past weekend Tony brought The Huckbuckto a party where it was given to various guests…

This guy was not phased when he received The Hucklebuck.

These two were given The Hucklebuck at the same time.

He seems somewhat familiar with The Hucklebuck.

Our office’s new batch of interns were given the following [non-H.R.-approved] quiz. Conceived of by Jeff R. Written by me.

The purpose was to alleviate our boredom, spark creativity and force interns to say mean things about their coworkers.

One weekend I bought 6 new t-shirts. Every day I wore a new one, I updated my coworkers with all the necessary details. It was information they didn’t know they needed. Naturally, their excitement began to wane with each update. I was forced to cram the information into their eyeballs each time.

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 Thank you.

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New T-Shirt 2/6

TODAY’S FEATURED SHIRT:
• Storm Grey
• Short Sleeve, Round Neck
• Breast Pocket, left side
• made in Indonesia
• size: Medium
• 60% cotton 40% polyester
• washed once

 Thank you.

[Those out of the office: There will be a re-wearing in 10-14 days. Please plan accordingly.]

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New T-Shirt 3/6

Today only, I will allow any of you to take your picture with me wearing the shirt. You will need to provide the camera.

TODAY’S FEATURED SHIRT:
• Prussian Blue
• Short Sleeve, V-Neck
• made in Bangladesh
• size: Medium
• 100% cotton
• washed once

Thank you.

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New T-Shirt 4/6 

[guest written by That Tad Guy]

I’m really excited to be writing about NEW T-SHIRT #4. I like that the DARK GRAY color perfectly captures the mood today, especially the crappy, weather that caused a rain delay at the Cardinals game. I wasn’t able to go to. I also like that the SHORT SLEEVES AND V-NECK create a sense of mystery, like “what’s going on under there?” Are there tattoos I don’t know about? How much of his MEDIUM frame is covered by hair? What’s the pec-to-ab ratio? Is it 60% TO 40%, like COTTON is to POLYESTER? Most of all, I love the scent of the shirt. It’s like it was only WASHED ONCE. The way it invites you in with hints of Cinnabon, chutney and, dare I say, chutzpah? All in all, this is a look that as perfect for the runways of Milan as it is for eating all-agency birthday cake in the Underground.

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New T-Shirt 5/6

I feel a lot of you have been losing focus as we bring this train into the station. So the information for today’s shirt is on the attached image.

Thank you.

Click to embiggen.

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New T-Shirt 6/6

New T-Shirt 6/6 from Unsanctioned Garbage Party on Vimeo