Aug 10, 2012 0
Aug 14, 2011 Comments Off
You will hear many words of wisdom as you transition from student to employee. Most of the advice will be short and to the point. But, I can tell you this young friend: your well-wishers are cheating you with their abridged guidance.
One of the more popular lessons, IN ITS ENTIRETY, is below…
Don’t burn bridges.
Be aware that most bridges are corporate ladders turned sideways. Take note if it’s more of a corporate ROPE ladder stretched awkwardly across two cliffs.
Then burn it as soon as you get safely to your desired side.
Those still taking their delicate steps will be more concerned with the approaching flames than with the source of this new crisis.
Breathe deep as your competition plunge to the river below.
Good Luck out there!
Jun 28, 2011 Comments Off
On this graduation day may you be released into the air and take flight.
May you stand proud atop your post with dreams of soaring over the trees and power lines. You will lift your head, expand your wings and reach for the heavens, but soon realize you are a turkey or fowl of some kind.
May your take-off be awkward and your altitude minimal. Your voyage will be cumbersome and your landing heavy. Might you then waddle off into the fields of middle management.
Congratulations kid, here’s twenty bucks.
May 28, 2011 1
If you know anything about me, you know I have quite a habit of using the old adage “…kittens in a basket…”
But did you know that the phrase has nearly 45 uses?! …I’m sorry, it’s closer to 30. But, shit! That’s still a ton!
Here are a few scenarios to get you started:
- Your co-worker starts complaining (again) about his stressful weekend? Just give him the ol’ “Hey, buddy. We’ve all got our kittens in a basket. Don’t think you’re the only one.”
- Late for a dinner appointment? Try “…traffic, rain…it was like kittens in a basket out there.”
- A friend needs help with his computer? “Dude, it’s a 1-2-3 process. Kittens…in a…basket. Done.”
- Grandfather reaches for your hand as he lay in his hospital bed? “Pep-pep, life is but a kitten…several, in fact. And you? You are but the basket. I love you. Now get some rest. Good night.”